I Hate Valentine's Day!

I'll be honest. I hate Valentines Day with a royal passion. I always have. I guess it started in grade school when all the kids would exchange valentines cards- you know, those diminutive cards that say To: and From:

I seldom received one and I never beyond doubt gave any away, either. At that young and impressionable age, to not receive Valentines cards, is it any wonder so many adults have relationship and self esteem problems?

Valentines Day Quotes

During my teen years, there were the usual high school sweethearts walking straight through the halls, keeping hands, sharing lockers, spending every free occasion together, cheering each other on in their detach after school activities. Sure, I dated a few guys. Some beyond doubt cute ones. But it never felt right.

As teens, we don't know sufficient about the world, or ourselves for that matter, to fully understand that it is okay to be alone; we do not have to be enduringly associated to other being to define ourselves as a person. Unfortunately, society has other ideas and too many young people are gullible sufficient to believe those ideas.

I made it straight through my teens having received few Valentines, though I so wanted something- anything! By the time I turned nineteen and joined the Army, all I wanted was man to be with; man for me.

Years later as I look back in reflection, I ask myself why I wanted man so bad. The retort I kept advent back to was that I had not taken the time to beyond doubt get to know me.

In the Army, I met a fellow soldier. While those first few months, I beyond doubt favorite him and wanted to marry him. We hit a rough patch, and he went back to an old girlfriend. My feelings for him began to wane, partly because we were on detach Army posts, and partly because I was finally starting to learn about myself.

When his relationship soured, he came back, and I did take him back. I found I still loved him, and still wanted to marry him, but at that point, I would have married Hugh Heffner had he asked.

We married, and our relationship changed in that moment. Four months later- our first Valentines as husband and wife- found us simply exchanging token cards and grunting at each other, even though I was pregnant with our first child.

Fast forward, three years and other child- and woman- later, and we divorced. I was so relieved! Sure, I was hurt at being so beyond doubt replaced but by then I realized I beyond doubt didn't want to be married to him, or anyone.

Still, as each safe bet roll of the calendar to yet other Valentine's Day, I found myself feeling down, hurt, sometimes angry, fed up. Why, I would ask myself- why? I had carefully since my divorce, and several subsequent failed short relationships, that I prefer to be alone, and that, due to the high strung and insanely neurotic and jealous man I am, need to be alone- and stay alone. I need solitude to sort straight through the constant chaos which swirls never-ending straight through my mind, and to have to worry about man else and what they're doing, well... No thanks.

So why do I hate Valentine's Day so much? The retort is quite simple, really.

Society dictates that relationships are everything. If you aren't with someone, you're no one; you must not be worthy if you cannot attain and/or sustain a relationship.

I'm proof safe bet that's just not so. But when I think back to my grade school days when the other boys and girls were gleefully reading each coveted Valentine's card as I sat at my desk, lonely and alone, and to my high school days, watching sweethearts be sweet with each other and wanting that too, the memories of how I felt While those times wash over me anew.

When we don't receive Valentine's gifts, we're made to feel no one loves us, or cares for us. Even for a hermit like me, it feels good knowing that maybe man cares. But I don't need a hastily bought gift or wilted flowers, or a generic card that a million other women will also receive to let me know man does care for me.

And I beyond doubt don't want- nor expect- anyone to dig deep in their pockets to remember they love me for one day, yet forget about letting me know that for the rest of the year!

When my animals lick my hand, and when my children wrap their arms nearby my neck and hug me tight, every day is Valentine's Day and that's all I need.

I Hate Valentine's Day!